Friday, June 29, 2007

Dinner @ Frankie Bones, South Asheville

Today, my wife completed an intensive two-week training course. To celebrate, we decided to hit Frankie Bones in Gerber Village (South Asheville) for dinner.

We'd heard great things about FB's from multiple sources, including a neighbor, who recommended the fixed price early-bird special (in by 5:45PM, order by 6:00PM).

Because I'd heard that FB's prices loomed a little larger than my standard tolerance, and because I am, apparently, an elderly Jewish man who has retired to south Florida, this concept appealed.

We made a reservation for eight, for 5:30PM. Rachel and I arrived early and informed the staff that half our party had unexpectedly withdrawn, paring us to a party of four. They handled this news with grace and efficiency, and soon we were sitting comfortably, enjoying the dim but somehow not-too-dim-to-see atmosphere and Rat Pack soundtrack, and evaluating the four (yes, four) menus:
  1. General menu
  2. Early-bird menu (limited selections; smaller portions; includes soup or salad, entree, and beverage for $13.99, with some up-sells available)
  3. Daily specials menu
  4. Kids' menu (doubles as a cute coloring sheet; comes with a cup of Crayolas)
We ordered (from Neill, our very nice and fairly efficient waiter):
  • Drinks: sweet tea; pink lemonade; an Arnold Palmer (50/50 sweet tea and pink lemonade) -- $2.00 a pop, except that two were included with the fixed-price meals (the kids meals don't include beverages). I was also charged $2.00 for the Coke I requested when it turned out the Arnold Palmer lacked enough sweet, which strikes me as wrong and was probably a mistake.
  • Appetizer: bread with herbed butter (free) and tempura-battered chicken fingers with honey mustard ($6.99)
  • Soups: chicken noodle and corn and tomato tortilla (included with fixed-price meals)
  • Entrees: kids' filet and fries ($10.99); chicken caesar salad ($13.99 fixed); 8-oz. hickory-smoked prime rib with twice-baked potato ($13.99 fixed); primavera flatbread pizza ($8.99)
  • Desserts: key lime pie ($6.99... but free -- see below); creme brulee ($5.99); s'mores ($6.99 -- you cook them yourself at the table over a fire-pot; enough for two or three to share and alone worth the price of admission strictly on novelty and coolness)
What was good:
  • The warm, fresh bread and herbed butter made for a savory start; the list of ingredients in the in-house-made butter is too long to recount, but includes: garlic, onion, salt, pepper, paprika, thyme, tarragon and at least two or three other obscure residents of our spice rack
  • The chicken fingers... how can I put this? Tender, juicy chicken enrobed in a tempura batter light as cloud, crunchy as a skim of ice on a mountain stream, subtle like a butterfly kiss. Fantastic -- top three chicken fingers of all-time (accompanied by excellent, if less superlative, honey-mustard)
  • The primavera flat-bread pizza. I didn't try this. I didn't get a chance. My sister-in-law tore in with such gusto that it seemed unwise to try (I value my fingers). It looked covered in fresh veggies, scattered with mozzarella and resting on a crisp-but-bendy whole-wheat crust.
  • The kids' filet was portioned generously, cooked ideally, and cut superbly. The fries: also great.
  • The desserts. To the last bite, each dessert delighted. The key lime pie tortured with tartness before soothing with sweetness (ably assisted by the raspberry drizzle). The large creme brulee delighted from its crunchy caramel lid to its richly sweet, lightly textured custard toes. And the s'mores? Real Hershey's chocolate. Honey Maid grahams. Marshmallows on bamboo skewers, toasted over a tiny pot of flame. All the joy of a camp-fire; none of the wrenching one's face away from the flames, eyes streaming from smoke and heat.
What was not good
  • The hickory-smoked prime rib -- as advertised: SMOKY. I mean, this beef tasted like bacon. And that would have been fine, except that it came out lukewarm, and so did the side of potatoes. Sent it back; take two offered slightly warmer meat, still-chilled potatoes. They offered to take it back again, but, by this point, was so full that I knew I'd just doggie-bag it anyway. (The send-back resulted in the comp'd pie.) Advice: even if you think you like hickory-smoke, ask for extra horseradish sour cream sauce -- it mutes the pungency and adds depth to the flavor.
  • The sweet tea was strong and not at all sweet. Some people are okay with that. We're not.
  • The pink lemonade was weak and not at all sweet. So, obviously, when combined with the sweet tea to make the Arnold Palmer, well, let's just say the results were sub-par. (Insert rimshot.) (Look, I might not mention the drinks at all, except for the whole getting charged for the Coke replacement thing. That just annoys me. And the fact remains that the drinks really weren't all that good. I'm sure their "real" drinks are much better, if you're into that sort of thing.)
  • The late-middle-aged foursome one table over who kept cursing -- loudly -- well in earshot and sightline of our six-year-old daughter. Not the restaurant's fault; I'm just sayin'. If you haven't learned manners by your sixties, I suppose it's too late.
Total bill (18% gratuity added; pie removed): $93.92.

Bottom line: My wife's hard work and ultimate success are worth that and much, much more. The dinner? I'm not so sure.

Suggestion: If the rest of the appetizers are even close to as good as the chicken fingers, you'd do well to order a few, share, and graze. And then get the s'mores, of course, even if you don't like them -- they're worth more than $6.99 of fun.



Frankie Bones
2 Gerber Road
Suite 101
Asheville, NC 28803
(828) 274-7111

http://www.frankiebonesasheville.com

fbasheville@gmail.com



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